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About Joseph Lee O.
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Expertise
Greetings to you! Having permanently recovered from chronic alcoholism by “taking The Steps” the original A.A. way, I now understand what makes people “tick”. I can explain the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an alcoholic’s inherent condition, and I can show why a spiritual solution is required in order to truly recover. Beginning in 1981, I have spent a great amount of time studying “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, as if my very own life depended upon doing so, and it did, and I have spent nearly an equal amount of time listening and sharing in many thousands of fellowship meetings. I am often able to “read between the lines” and help others to see things not always immediately obvious, and I can usually draw from my own experience while tying everything back to the beginning of personal recovery: One-to-one sharing at Step One.

Experience
The oldest of four boys, I grew up in a religious, Midwestern-USA family. Unable to decline a friendly offer in a social setting, I had “no effective mental defense against the first drink” (“Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, page 43), and I took my very first drink ever at age 24 ... and within minutes I had become obsessed with getting more of the effect that glass of wine had given me. Alcohol had just done something *for* me that nothing else had ever done: it had seemingly “fixed” something inside me I had not even known was broken. Over the next seven years of my life, I "drank up" just about everything and everyone ever meaning very much to me at all, and I eventually abandoned my young family so I could drink and smoke pot at will. For, you see, alcohol was giving me a good-to-go feeling about life and a sense of control I had never before had, and at least in the early days of my drinking it could kill just about any pain that might ever come along. At age 31, however, circumstances and consequences had piled up all around me in ways that were making it obvious I could not continue on much longer. Life had become too tough, my pains had grown too great and the risks of continuing to drink had become too glaring for me to be able to continue believing I might ultimately survive the drop to the bottom of the pit. I still wanted to be able to drink safely as I had in days past, but something had seemingly “taken over” my drinking and was dragging me completely out-of-control after just one drink. So, and even while scared-to-death over the thought of facing life alcohol-free, I decided to stop drinking altogether ... and quickly discovered I could not. No matter what I said or thought or did even only “one day at a time”, I always ended up drinking once again. Where I wanted to drink safely, I could not, and neither could I quit and stay sober for long at all ... and such is the physical “allergy” (where one drink takes another) coupled with the mental-emotional obsession for the soothing effect of alcohol that eventually kills most chronic alcoholics ... ... but then I met a small group of people who personally understood my deadly dilemma – my powerlessness – and those same folks were quite able to propose a permanent solution. I accepted, of course, and today it is as if I “could not drink even if [I] would” (“Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, page 57), and for that I now remain unendingly grateful.

You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Substance Abuse > Addiction to Alcohol

Subject	Date Asked	Expert

Friend of Bill W.	7/6/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: "but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, ... A: You are referring to loss of control or powerlessness in terms of the first Step of AA; this means: ...
Friend of Bill W.	7/6/2008	Derek Johnson
Q: "but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, ... A: Loss of Control is a major indicator that someone has an addiction to something. It is simply that ...
Friend of Bill W.	7/6/2008	Druideck
Q: "but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, ... A: Good day, what it means to me is losing the ability to start and stop drinking when you choose ...
Friend of Bill W.	7/6/2008	Clyde
Q: "but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, ... A: Keith, Thank you for your question. Liquor begins to do something for me which I need but can ...
restore marraige to alcoholic ex	7/5/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: Mr. Lee, I wrote you back in December about my husband who had gone through terrible DT's and was ... A: Greetings again, Pat. It is impossible to know precisely what will happen in the days ahead, but ...
dealing with the emotions of a recovering alcoholic	7/5/2008	Clyde
Q: I started dating a wonderful man 2 years ago. I was not aware he was an alcoholic. We discovered ... A: Carolyn, Thank you for your question and for sharing a little of the situation. First of ...
beer addiction	7/4/2008	Jurriaan Plesman
Q: my boy friend and I been almost a year now. He likes to drink beer. The longest I have seen him go ... A: You are not in an unusual situation where an alcoholic takes advantage of loved one to perpetuate ...
Reuniting	7/3/2008	Druideck
Q: I have been married for 21 years. My husband, an alcoholic has been in treatment centers 5 times. ... A: Michelle, be very cautious here as you and I both know how manipulating alcoholics can be drunk or ...
Alcohol Drinking	7/2/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: Is it possible for a person to drink every night for 30 years and not be an alcoholic? If yes, how ... A: Greetings to you, Brenda. You have asked: >> Is it possible for a person to drink every night for ...
Severe Alcholism	7/2/2008	Clyde
Q: Clyde, First I must thank you from the bottom of my heart, you helped me so much by answering my ... A: Toni, Thank you for your follow-up questions and for your kind words. I hope that my ...
I do I save my marriage?	6/29/2008	Rebos
Q: My husband and I have been married for a year and a half, and have been together on and off for 6 ... A: Good morning Amanda and thank you for your question. If you are open-minded Alanon will work! I ...
rehab	6/29/2008	Clyde
Q: You answered my question several weeks ago about my husband who doesn't believe in "treatment." I ... A: Rebecca, Thank you for your follow-up. I can feel for your situation because I know what it is ...
Husband in rehab 6 times Relapse again!	6/26/2008	Todd
Q: My husband is an alcoholic. Prior to marrying him and having two little girls together, I was never ... A: I received your comments,,,thank you. I am glad you found them helpful. I usually don't respond to ...
my boyfriend relapsed	6/26/2008	Clyde
Q: My boyfriend got out of rehab about two and a half weeks ago.About a week ago he relapsed.Since he ... A: Katherine, Thank you for your follow-up and I am sorry I have been delayed in answering your ...
Husband in rehab 6 times Relapse again!	6/26/2008	Todd
Q: My husband is an alcoholic. Prior to marrying him and having two little girls together, I was never ... A: I'm thinking you already know the answer. It's not so much "will my situation change" rather, how ...
anxiety about future	6/25/2008	Druideck
Q: The last 5 years I have been through the mill with my husbands drinking and despite him trying to ... A: Good day, Alcoholics are often irresponsible and the family learns to stop depending on them. The ...
alcohol and memory loss	6/25/2008	Jurriaan Plesman
Q: my problem is that i am suffering from short term memory loss, i have a drinking problem ,i drink ... A: I can only guess that you memory loss is due to alcoholism, that ay have damaged your brain. If you ...
worried about a friend	6/25/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: I am hoping to get some advice on how to deal with a dear friend of mine that has been lying to me ... A: Your friend has a number of indicators suggesting alcoholism: a DUI (many who drive with a blood ...
Mother has a drinking problem...	6/25/2008	Rebos
Q: I'm going to try to be brief but still give you all of the details. My mother, a 57 year old woman ... A: Good afternoon Sarah and thank you for your question. Your mother is an alcoholic (from your ...
my boyfriend relapsed	6/24/2008	Clyde
Q: My boyfriend got out of rehab about two and a half weeks ago.About a week ago he relapsed.Since he ... A: Katherine, Thank you for your impassioned questions regarding your boyfriend's actions. ...
my wife went in loving me and came out not	6/23/2008	Druideck
Q: my wife and i have been together for eleven years we have had lots of problems but when we are ... A: Jayme. there is no easy answer as to why she wants to end the relationship. I would imagine it has ...
A friend of Bill W.	6/22/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I was wondering if you had more to add to pg. 21 of the Big Book where the real alcoholic is ... A: Greetings again, Keith. Yes, I have heard of the acetaldehyde THIQ factor, and I believe you and I ...
A friend of Bill W.	6/22/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I was wondering if you had more to add to pg. 21 of the Big Book where the real alcoholic is ... A: Greetings again, Keith. Yes, that is my sobriety date, and yes, you are welcomed to write using my ...
A friend of Bill W. has a question	6/21/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: I was wondering if you had more to add to pg. 21 of the Big Book where the real alcoholic is ... A: Greetings to you, Keith. Even still after these past twenty-five-plus years of being a diligent ...
Alchoholic Wife	6/19/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: My wife and I have been married 24 years, we both work fulltime, and have a son 23 who still lives ... A: Greetings to you, Mark. You have asked: >> What do I do? First, please understand (or remember) ...
recovering alcoholic	6/19/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: My husband has been sober for 6 months and attending AA with a sponsor. He has a 15 yo stepson, my ... A: Greetings to you, Patsy. First, and if you can find a quiet moment to do so, suggest to your ...
Emotional differences in recovered alcholics	6/19/2008	Derek Johnson
Q: This question might be a little different. I have a boyfriend who left his wife for me almost two ... A: I am not sure that this guilt has anything at all to do with an addiction. Other than the fact that ...
Post Recovery Problems	6/19/2008	Rebos
Q: My husband of 3 years is an alcoholic. I just realized this about 3 months ago and what the ... A: Good afternoon Chris and thank you for your question. You apparently did not know your husband very ...
Behaviour	6/19/2008	Druideck
Q: Why is it they can hold down a job and go out of their way to please and keep in with fellow workers ... A: Good day, Alcoholics can sometimes be great people pleasers when it comes to outsiders. They seem ...
My roommate went to rehab years ago, and is starting to drink again.	6/18/2008	Derek Johnson
Q: Before I moved here and made all the wonderful friends I did, my roommate was a terrible alcoholic. ... A: I would agree he is slipping - that is an understatement. The bottom line is that you are either ...
SUDDEN DEATH FROM ALCOHOL	6/17/2008	Jurriaan Plesman
Q: The use of alcohol (not necessarily by an alcoholic or heavy drinker) may, in rare cases, cause ... A: Quote:"Death by alcohol usually results from respiratory failure, because of alcohol's depressive ...
my boyfriend after rehab	6/15/2008	Clyde
Q: My boyfriend got out of rehab about a week ago.I know it hasn't been that long,but hes really ... A: Katherine, Thank you for your question. It is a remarkable change in a person's life to give ...
Help a Mom	6/12/2008	Joseph Lee O.
Q: Sandy is 39. Left her husband and 4 young kids 3 years ago while in rehab for another alcoholic.Has ... A: Greetings to you, Barb. You have written: >> She always says I cant do this anymore and goes ...
Anxiety and Alcohol don't mix	6/11/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: I currently have been diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). I have been taking Zoloft ... A: As currently used, the term "binge drinker" usually means someone who drinks to the point of causing ...
alcoholic sister	6/9/2008	Rebos
Q: Alcohol has played a huge part in the adversity in my life. I was molested as a child due to ... A: Good morning Maria and thank you for your question. I am very sorry for your loss. If your sister ...
Our baby will be here soon, and he won't quit drinking.	6/9/2008	Druideck
Q: My boyfriend, let's call him Sam, and I have been to together for 4 years. I should probably mention ... A: Stephanie, just look at what you wrote to me, do you see the pattern that repeats itself over and ...
My Husband	6/7/2008	Druideck
Q: After almost thirty years of marriage my husband has started to drink. I am really upset. Both my ... A: Good day, this is unfortunate but he is an adult so he can decide to drink or not drink. I think ...
advice	6/4/2008	Rebos
Q: my father is an alcoholic, i have tried talking to him many times about his problems. five years ... A: Good morning Dave and thank you for your question. Unfortunately, your father is in denial and until ...
Alcohol	6/3/2008	Jan Edward Williams
Q: I have been married for about 8 months and I think my husband has a problem with drinking. He use to ... A: Your situation is a difficult one, but it is a healthy sign that you are asking for help. Often ...
My Wife's Alcoholism	6/2/2008	Rebos
Q: I'm sitting here tonight at the PC in total desperation. My wife has been a chronic alcoholic for ... A: Good afternoon Brian and thank you for your question. I can’t tap you on the shoulder with a magic ...

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Questions by
Active Experts:

Derek Johnson	Joseph Lee O.	Todd
John Hendrix	Amarnath.B	james52144@earthlink.net
Clyde	Rebos	Druideck
M.G.	Jurriaan Plesman	Jan Edward Williams